Now that I’m older I began to be more honest with myself.
I care about all the things, probably I care more than other people. My anxiety is actually higher than I thought. I don’t even want to go outside of my room because I didn’t want people to look at me at my lowest.
The thing is, I fake my confidence a lot. I act like I have nothing in my mind whereas my mind is constantly whispering negative stuffs. It feeds my soul, darkened it. Coloring it black. I began to overthink even the littlest interaction I did in the past.
Interaction is honestly exhausting, but I have to face it. I needed people more than they need me. I am heavily dependent of other people. I need people’s company to keep me grounded and sane. I need to be mindful of how do I interact with people.
The things that I had to underline is that:
- I need to make people feel good being in my company. After I make people feel good in my company, I have to make them as comfortable as possible.
- Drop the resting bitch face.
- Stop making everything about yourself = stop oversharing. Don’t tell a soul about your past, stop making it as if you have been through a lot.
- Try to enjoy being in people’s company. Be excited about the littlest things.
- Avoid talking about negative stuffs = Talk about positive stuffs more.
- Be honest, but don’t talk about negative things.
- People want to have fun so you need to have fun too.
You need to get rid of the stuffs that makes you isolate yourself, anxiety builds up because of shame so try to get rid of the things that could make you feel shy.
Your social isolation started with how many hobbies or interests you have but you can’t talk about it to all the people because there’s nobody who likes the same shit with you.
On why it’s okay to drop it:
- The hobbies did you not good and have no benefit for you.
- It consumes part of your brain in a negative way
- You began to isolate yourself.
Things you need to drop:
- Korean pop consumption
- Enjoying porn
- Enjoying manga
- Playing genshin
- Spending too much time on twitter.
Be the better version of yourself! Don’t forget to love yourself okay.
